she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
