So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
