if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize