Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
