How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
