I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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