Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
