So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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