Its about making memories worth repressing
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
