Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize