wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
