Can Purell be used as lube?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize