We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
