the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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