How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Panties = found
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
