dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
