I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize