and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
