rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
