how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
