Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
