People with herpes should wear stickers.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
