Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
