My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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