Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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