Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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