How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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