i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
