with your own penis?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
