What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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