Three words: puerto rican gang bang
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
