sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
