I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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