Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
