We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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