Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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