I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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