went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
