I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
