Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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