Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
