its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
