In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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