Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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