why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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