Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
