I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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