naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
vagina is talking i cant
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
