he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he fucked my hip out of place.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
