i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
