Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
