laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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