Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
