if you like me you must not know who I am
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
