But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
