If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
