I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
