Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
