Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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