Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize