Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize