i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize