Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
handjob tips. give me some.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
